Martinez

Washington State

Before I had even gotten pregnant I had a feeling I might have a baby with a disability. It is a 6th sense I have. My feelings were rarely wrong. I stressed and worried. I got a blood test done, and the doctor told me I had like a one in 10,000 chance but assured me that false positives were fairly common.

So I kept it to myself and tried not to think about it. I didn’t want my husband to know because he suffers from anxiety and I didn’t want him to worry. I had hope that everything was going to be okay. Then the doctor suggested I go to a specialist just to make sure everything was okay. The doctor found nothing to cause concern. I tried to stay hopeful but I was stressed and lost sleep over it because of the "feeling" I had that I might very well have a downs syndrome baby. I was only 20 and I was so scared as it was and then to throw a disability on top. I am a devout Christian but I forget God’s promises sometimes. I forgot that he says that he wont give us anything we can not handle and to trust in him. So finally I did. I gave it to him, all my angst and stress and I felt a million times better. The specialist offered an amnio test but my husband and I decided it wasn’t worth the risk. It wouldn’t change anything. Our baby girl was born November 12th without a single complication. She was healthy and beautiful. Perfect. We didn’t see any signs that she was downs. We decided just in case, to get chromosomal testing done. The pediatrician being the insensitive jerk that he was, called me OVER THE PHONE, the day before Thanksgiving To say "tests have confirmed that your baby has downs syndrome, you are going to want to make an appointment to discuss what this means, bye" and that was it. The world had come crashing down around me. My baby was going to be disabled and I didn’t know what I was going to do, or tell my husband. It was the scariest thing I had ever endured. My husband and I wept in each other’s arms at the realization that our baby would be "disabled." I loved my baby more than anything but I had my doubts that I would be able to be the mother that she needed me to be.

However God was in our corner. It just happened to be that my sister and brother in-law and aunt just happen to work with special need kids, professionally. As time went on we saw that she was not at all like we expected. She was so smart and strong and most people couldn’t even tell she was downs syndrome. She was so observant and alert. By then our New pediatrician told us that she had Mosaic downs syndrome. I had never heard of that. She got us in touch with a Genetic specialist. She explained about the two cell groups and that explained why she only had mild delay. Today our baby is healthy and smart and tall and resourceful, scrappy and silly. She loves to be read to, she loves baby dolls, classical music, baby Einstein and she is even learning how to sign with her hands. Not to mention she is a total blessing. She is the light of our lives and I wouldn’t trade her for anything. We thank God every day because he couldn’t have given us a more perfect little girl.